Tips and Tricks for Anti-Ageing
The anti-ageing market is getting younger and younger. As a 23-year-old who's already invested in countless products promising to burn off enough of my current cells to reveal the skin I once enjoyed as a foetus, I can vouch for this.
My peers imagined a lot of things in their early twenties. This included that infamous ‘great-skin-window’, the one your mum promised you at 15 when you were moaning in the bathroom about how ugly you were... you know?
It would mean an end to spot gel that smells like bathroom cleaner, with a replacement skin that looks so laughably vibrant we’d still get ID'd at bars.
So, the fact that I'm still standing in front of a mirror simultaneously plying myself with a SPOTS-be gone!-lotion and WRINKLES-die-now!-cream just doesn't seem fair. A mild form of teenage acne teamed with premature ageing? Cheers Mother Nature! Good one. So, is it all downhill with gravity from here?
Well, the first signs of ageing are enough to motivate anyone to take action. With this in mind, we've compiled a list of top tips given by experts, data, truth and science. The general theme of these tips however is this: Be a more boring version of yourself.
Sure, we all want to be that young, fun, sexy smoker on the beach wearing a string bikini and slipping over because of all that oil she’s covered herself in. We know that's the dream. But hey, won’t we feel smug when, years down the line, we have the skin of a 12-year-old and her face is being mistaken for a leather purse? In this respect, high factor sun cream is essential, as is the application of said paste: meticulously rub it in every few minutes in upward strokes (do not encourage gravity) and stay in the shade! That's tip number one. In fact, stay out of the sun altogether, as its rays are definitely your skin’s number one enemy.
Tip 2: Buy a pot of cream. Not any old cream, but cream that has been tested by the experts. The good ones cost about €70 for a thimble full. They have been scientifically approved by scientists and usually contain puppy tears and baby saliva (we’re joking… just). This science wisdom is then passed down to the science prophets who spread the message to us. These prophets tend to appear in the form of pushy sales girls in malls who have use these creams so much it actually looks like they have never had an emotion in their life. Sold! To the girl whose forehead rues the day she was ever surprised!
This takes us on nicely to my third and final tip. Don't use your face. Stop using your face, stop it, just stop it. Again, we’re joking of course… but the point is, a face that hasn’t laughed or cried that much, will definitely have less wrinkles and look less tired.
So! If you stick to these rules ladies, it is scientifically proven that you'll be beating the men away with sticks as they try to ply you with bibs, bottles and dummies... You'll look that young!
Got an anti-ageing tip for our readers? Share it below!