Underwear is a big part of every outfit, especially on Valentine’s Day, but just how important is it?

“U ajma, oht, not everything’s about sex!”

That was someone’s answer to my question regarding underwear on Valentine’s Day! Can you believe that? I mean, mambo-jumbo buddy, the world might not be all about sex, but where would we be if sex didn’t exist? In Limbo, my friend, or in the Book of What Could Have Been But Didn’t Happen ‘Cause Someone Kept Their Legs Closed.

Regardless, most people seemed to agree that while love is definitely the key component of V Day, many of them do consider their V Day complete once those ties come undone and those silk dresses slip down. But how do you avoid a shocker? How does one make sure that when everything but their underwear comes off, their lovers stay on?

To find out, we asked some people what kind of underwear they hope to come face-to-face with after their romantic dinners with their better halves, and here, Ladies and Gentlemen, are their truthful answers:

“Nice, lacy, red underwear. A matching set, for once?” Martin, 22

“Difficult to answer really, as long as they’re not granny pants! Those things make me crave minestra not mineeeestraaaaaaa, if you know what I mean!” Jacob, 24

“Ones with no skid-marks.” Tiffany, 32

“Some nice designer underwear. I don’t know what it is about brands in the procreation department, but they make me holler!”  Jason, 26

“Briefs! Screw boxers, boys, they only look good in the ring. All packaged up like Captain Findus fish fingers, that’s the way to go!” Natalia, 28

Top Tips Down Under

So, taking into consideration all the comments above, we have put together some tips for the ladies and gents out there who want to leave a good impression.

Ladies: Wear something sexy, preferably red, to get that testosterone flowing where it matters. Stay away from unattractive underwear, but if you must wear it for logistical reasons (sometimes every girl needs her Spanx), excuse yourself as soon as you get home and make a quick change.

Gents: Wear something different to what you usually do. Making an effort is the best and most honest way to a woman’s heart. If you’re Natalia’s boyfriend (see above), then make sure you don’t wear boxers - for everyone else, do you know what kind of underwear she prefers? Find out! AND, obviously, but most importantly, make sure they’re clean!