Last Updated 22 | 11 | 2012 at 12:00

Lifestyle / Sex & Relationships

How to ask someone out – and get a ‘Yes’!

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di-ve.com news
editorial@di-ve.com

Most of us normal, average human beings would rather stick needles in our eyes than ask someone out. Our fear of rejection and/or ridicule is so strong that it turns us into insecure gibbering wrecks as we simultaneously shuffle our feet, stammer and turn an unattractive shade of fuchsia when faced with our object of desire.

Here follows a hopefully-handy, how-to guide on handling this event so fraught with anxiety and difficulties.

First up, the best way to do it is always face-to-face. Facebook is also permissible (depending on the circumstances), but asking someone out by text is a definite no-no (it’s as cowardly as breaking up by text message. Tsk. Hang your head in shame). Getting a friend to do the ‘asking’ for you is so off the chart that I may have to send someone over to slap you (unless you are 12 years old. Then it’s just cute).

So to business. I’m going to assume that you already know your target and that you’re not soliciting strangers.

Tip the 1st. Look and Smell Nice. Nothing can put off a potential mate more than the hint of body odour. Same goes for torn clothes. If you can’t make the effort to be presentable when trying to win his or her heart, then it stands to reason that you won’t go that extra mile in a relationship. So, minty fresh breath, shiny hair and clean clothes are your first step to Datedom.

Tip the 2nd. Gauge your Object’s Interest. Be observant. Does s/he maintain eye contact? Smile in your direction? Laugh at funny things you say? Lean towards you as you speak to him/her? All these are signs that s/he is interested in you. You’re getting closer to your prey. Well done.

Tip the 3rd. Mimic Behaviour. Now that you’re fairly sure that there is a glimmer of interest being thrown in your direction, why don’t we give fate a little nudge in the right direction? Mimicking your intended’s behaviour can only help seal the deal. For example, if they cup their head in their hands – do the same. If they cross their legs – you do so too. This will help their subconscious like you more. And that’s always a good thing. We’re nearly there ...

Tip the 4th. Be Confident. Smile and ask the question. Don’t dither, don’t to and fro. Get straight to the point whilst seeming casual. That’s not too difficult is it? Of course it is! It’s terrifying, however if you’ve already come this far then your chances of getting a ‘yes’ are already pretty good. Know beforehand what sort of date you would like to take him or her on. Let the askee pick the date and time but YOU organise all the rest.

Tip the 5th. Be Prepared for Rejection. It happens to be best of us. Don’t make a big deal of it. Leave with your dignity intact. Be cool if s/he says no. Keep your reaction light and say something like “I’d have kicked myself if I hadn’t asked. You’re a lovely person”. Also keep cool if s/he says yes. Don’t do the air-punch jump or your victory dance. Don’t make them regret agreeing to go out with you!

Now you’re prepared to go out there and conquer. Remember to always strike while the iron is hot. Don’t allow yourself to be lulled into the dreaded Friendzone lest you get lost there forevermore.

 

Good luck :)

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